Found in a folder of old notes pre-dating my novel Timed Out in which a rather different version appears briefly.
“Afraid of dying alone? Don’t be. Find yourself a carer. Internet dating is the answer,” all over the country decrepit men are telling their decrepit friends.
And all over the country, lonely women are egging each other on. “Give it a try. You never know … Just get a makeover first. There aren’t many men left standing at our age, but if you don’t aim too high, if you’re willing to compromise …”
So it was that Brenda met a baker’s dozen of unsuitable men.
The last one – well, it started badly. They both stood outside Burger King at York Station, both on their mobile phones, complaining.
“I’m outside Burger King. Where are you?”
“No. I’m outside Burger King. You must have got off at the wrong station.”
They looked around them – two elderly folk, one bald, the other grey, and both fatter and plainer than their profile photographs.
At last they turned to each other, laughed, and went off for a hearty lunch. Over lunch they fell in love. They lived happily ever after, which wasn’t very long.